


Civil War

by RainbowArches



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: But it's close enough, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, I don't think that's the best tag for this, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-15 20:43:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5799304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowArches/pseuds/RainbowArches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick has reached his breaking point.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Civil War

**Author's Note:**

> Civil War isn't hugely relevant. This is just an excuse for Nick and Maria to rant about the Avengers, and the context for tiny bits of Nick/Maria dialogue that I've had in my head.

Maria was an excellent commander but the Avengers were a different story. One or two she could handle. She could handle the whole team when they got along, which was often, especially for the new lineup. But there was something about global catastrophe that made superhero teams fall apart, and Maria didn’t know how to put them together again. She could reason with them over little things but never over dire straits, especially when said straits were their fault. It was funny; they’d go off on longwinded monologues about responsibility and teamwork and protection, but when it came time to walk the walk they sat there pointing fingers at each other until someone kicked their asses into gear. Maria didn’t have the knack for superhero ass gears. She supposed she lack the dramatic flair that appealed to them so well. Nick had that flair and he utilized it beautifully. It would be just the thing to settle this registration business once and for all. Personally, Maria didn’t care which way it settled, as long as she wasn’t made the scapegoat again. Unfortunately, Nick didn’t look like he was in the mood for dramatic ass-kicking.

Nick was in his most secluded safe house, watching the news coverage of the Avengers’ latest skirmish. He was slumped on the couch in his bathrobe and slippers, a week’s worth of stubble on his face. There were two empty beer bottles and a bowl with a few popcorn kernels on the coffee table. Maria hoped they were from last night and not his breakfast. He didn’t even turn around when she entered; not a good sign. He wasn’t alert. He wasn’t hiding for fear of his life. He wasn’t planning anything. He was moping. She could be here to kill him and he wouldn’t care.

“Sir?”

He didn’t respond. Maria moved around the couch so that he could see her, but he didn’t look up.

“Sir?”

Nothing. Maria swept crumbs off the couch before sitting down.

“Things are getting out of hand, as you can see,” she said. “I could really use your help.”

Nick sighed and continued to stare forlornly at the T.V.

“The Avengers could use your help.”

A slight twitch in his jaw as a glare formed. Maria could see gentility wasn’t getting her anywhere. She tried her usual commanding tone but with a hint of desperation.

“Nick, please! They won’t listen to me. Come back and tell them they’re idiots.”

“No.”

Maria blinked. “No? What do you mean no?”

“No. What’s the point? They’ll just fall apart again in another two years.” He turned off the T.V. and headed for the bedroom. “I quit.”

“What? No you don’t!”

“I’m going to bed forever.”

“No you’re not!”

Nick slammed the door shut behind him. The squeaking bedsprings signaled Nick’s resolute flop onto the bed.

Maria massaged her forehead with her fingers. It had finally happened. He had finally snapped. She’d managed to avert this situation a few times- when Coulson died; when SHIELD collapsed; when Ultron took over the world. If only she’d got to him sooner. Maybe she could have prevented this breakdown a fourth time. But she supposed it had to happen sooner or later. It couldn’t be healthy to keep taping up cracks and ignore them. Though she’d expected something more explosive from him that scared or perhaps shamed the Avengers into better behavior. She wasn’t quite sure what to do with the sad pathetic lump he’d turned into.

She went and knocked on the bedroom door.

“Go away,” was the muffled reply.

“Sir, you can’t wait this out. You need to take action.”

“I took action. I created the Avengers Initiative. Look what happened.”

“Okay, the Avengers are kind of dumb about taking initiative, but they always smarten up in the end. They just need you to push them in the right direction.”

“I’m done pushing. It they can’t keep themselves together by now they’re never going to.”

Tired of talking to the door she let herself in. Nick was under the covers in the fetal position, hugging his pillow.

“You should tell them that. Maybe once they understand the role you’ve played for them and what they’ve driven you to, they’ll stop.”

Nick didn’t respond. He pulled the covers more tightly around himself.

Maria rolled her eyes. “Come on, Nick! You’re better at guilt-tripping them than I am. What do you want me to do? Tell them you died trying to reconcile them?”

“Do you think that will work?”

“Not a second time. And I’d rather not wait until somebody actually dies for them to shape up.”

Nick groaned and pulled the covers over his head. He stayed hidden for a few seconds before reappearing to look tiredly at her. “You were right, Maria. The Avengers Initiative was a bad idea. If a threat’s too big for SHIELD to handle how could I expect a bunch of self-involved superheroes to handle it?”

“Sir, I hate to say I told you so-“

“No you don’t.”

“So I won’t, but there’s a reason it’s called the Avengers Initiative and not the Preventers Initiative. They’ve always handled the threats too big for SHIELD, they just need SHIELD’s help.”

“But that defeats the entire purpose!” Nick was propped up on his elbows, voice raised. It was a relief to see him a little more animated. “Civilians are supposed to be able to count on them for anything, meaning if there’s no SHIELD at least there’s the Avengers. It’s not like I’m asking them to marry each other! All they have to do is cooperate long enough to kill the bad guy and they can go their separate ways until the next one shows up! Is that so hard?!” Nick flopped back onto the pillow and yanked his sheet over his face.

Maria couldn’t imagine Nick letting SHIELD die. She knew she wouldn’t. But he had a point. In a worst case scenario where every agent competent enough to lead SHIELD was dead, how would the Avengers handle the next threat? Who’d keep them in check? But this wasn’t yet a worst case scenario. Maria sat gingerly on the edge of the bed. “Are you really just going to lie here until the world ends? You’re not going to step in?”

“If I do they won’t learn anything.”

“Then do you mind if I join you?”

Nick flicked the covers to the side. “Hop in.”

So they lay there and waited for the end of the world. It didn’t come. At the point where Nick would normally show up and give them the nudge they needed, his absence became extremely noticeable and they all went looking for him. When they found him and Maria being sad in bed together they decided the best course of action was to drop the whole business entirely. Nick and Maria went back to work and the Avengers didn’t take initiative for a long time.

 


End file.
